Dragostea este ca cocaina – Numarul 33: Atractie – Nautilus

„Cand vrem sa citim despre faptele facute pentru dragoste, spre unde ne intoarcem? In coloana crimei.



– George Bernard Shaw

George Bernard Shaw cunostea puterea iubirii romantice si a atasamentului. Amandoi, voi mentine, sunt dependente – dependente minunate atunci cand relatia merge bine; dependente oribil de negative atunci cand parteneriatul se descompune. Mai mult, aceste dependente de dragoste au evoluat cu mult timp in urma, in conditiile in care Lucy si rudele si prietenii ei au cutreierat iarba Africii de Est in urma cu aproximativ 3,2 milioane de ani.

Ia dragoste romantica. Chiar si un iubit fericit arata toate caracteristicile unui dependent. In primul rand, barbatii si femeile indragite isi doresc unirea emotionala si fizica cu persoana iubita. Aceasta dorinta este o componenta centrala a tuturor dependentelor. Iubitorii simt, de asemenea, o graba de incantare atunci cand se gandesc la el sau ea, o forma de „intoxicatie”. matrimoniale suedia barbati www.manonvongerkan.com Pe masura ce obsesia lor se construieste, iubitul incearca sa interactioneze din ce in ce mai mult cu iubitul, cunoscut in literatura despre dependenta drept „intensificare”. De asemenea, se gandesc obsesiv la persoana iubita, o forma de gandire intruziva fundamentala pentru dependenta de droguri. Iubitorii distorsioneaza, de asemenea, realitatea, isi schimba prioritatile si obiceiurile zilnice pentru a se adapta iubitului si adesea fac lucruri necorespunzatoare, periculoase sau extreme pentru a ramane in contact cu sau a impresiona acest altul special.

Tot in Neurostiinta  

Ingenios: Rachel Yehuda

De Kevin Berger

Desi tulburarea de stres post-traumatica este un diagnostic stabilit in psihologie, iar veteranii de lupta stresati sunt un cliseu la Hollywood, nu a fost demult cand PTSD nu a fost bine inteles deloc. „A fost o perioada in care lipsa noastra de cunostinte despre … CITESTE MAI MULTE

Chiar si personalitatea cuiva se poate schimba, cunoscuta drept „afectarea perturbatiei”. Intr-adevar, multi oameni trantiti sunt dispusi sa se jertfeasca pentru dragul lor, chiar mor pentru el sau ea. paturi matrimoniale joase www.23tuning.com Si ca si dependentii care sufera atunci cand nu isi pot lua drogurile, iubitul sufera atunci cand este in afara de iubit – „anxietatea de separare”.

Problema incepe cu adevarat, insa, atunci cand un iubit este respins. Majoritatea barbatilor si femeilor abandonate prezinta semne comune de retragere de droguri, inclusiv proteste, vraji plans, letargie, anxietate, tulburari ale somnului (somn prea mult sau mult prea putin), pierderea poftei de mancare sau a mancarii, iritabilitate si singuratate cronica.

Iubitorii recidiveaza, de asemenea, asa cum fac dependentii. Mult timp dupa incheierea relatiei, evenimentele, oamenii, locurile, cantecele sau alte semne externe asociate partenerului abandonat pot declansa amintiri. Acest lucru starneste o noua runda de pofta, gandire intruziva, chemare compulsiva, scriere sau afisare – totul in speranta relansarii romantismului. Deoarece dragostea romantica este asociata in mod regulat cu o suita de trasaturi legate de toate dependentele, mai multi psihologi au ajuns sa creada ca iubirea romantica poate deveni o dependenta.

Cand colegii mei au reanalizat datele noastre, am gasit activitate intr-o regiune a creierului legata de toate dependentele.

Cred ca iubirea romantica este o dependenta – asa cum am mentionat, o dependenta pozitiva cand iubirea cuiva este reciproca, netoxica si adecvata; si o dependenta dezastruoasa negativa cand sentimentele unei iubiri romantice sunt inadecvate, otravitoare, nereciprocate sau respinse formal. site-uri cu matrimoniale mediastrategy.pro

“If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it,” Einstein reportedly said. Few academics and laymen regard romantic love as an addiction—because they believe that all addictions are pathological and harmful. Data do not support this notion, however. When neuroscientists Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki compared the brains of happily-in-love participants with the brains of euphoric addicts who had just injected cocaine or opioids, many of the same regions in the brain’s reward system became active. Moreover, when my colleagues reanalyzed our data on 17 men and women who were happily in love, we found activity in the nucleus accumbens (unpublished data), a brain region linked with all of the addictions—including the cravings for heroin, cocaine, nicotine, alcohol, amphetamines, opioids, and even gambling, sex, and food.

Barbatii si femeile care sunt indragostiti intens si fericit sunt dependenti de partenerul lor. Asadar, partenerul meu de scanare a creierului, neurostiintistul Lucy Brown, a propus ca dragostea romantica este o dependenta naturala, „o stare normala modificata”, experimentata de aproape toti oamenii.

Atractia romantica este acum asociata cu o suita de trasaturi psihologice, comportamentale si fiziologice. Colectarea datelor a inceput in mare parte cu disectia acum clasica a acestei nebunii, gasita in Dragoste si Limerenta , de Dorothy Tennov. matrimoniale sect 3 www.paulslist.com

Tennov a conceput aproximativ 200 de declaratii despre dragostea romantica si a rugat 400 de barbati si femei din si in jurul Universitatii Bridgeport, Connecticut, sa raspunda cu reactii „adevarate” sau „false”. Sute de persoane suplimentare au raspuns la versiunile ulterioare ale chestionarului.



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Din raspunsurile lor, precum si jurnalele lor si alte conturi personale, Tennov a identificat o constelatie de caracteristici comune acestei conditii de „a fi indragostit”, stare pe care a numit-o „mentinere”.

Primul aspect dramatic al dragostei romantice este inceputul ei, momentul in care o alta persoana incepe sa ia „sensul special”. Incepi sa te concentrezi intens asupra lui sau a ei, o stare cunoscuta de oamenii de stiinta drept „salience”. Ar putea fi un vechi prieten vazut intr-o perspectiva noua sau un strain complet. Dar, dupa cum a spus unul dintre informatorii lui Tennov, „intreaga mea lume a fost transformata. Avea un centru nou, iar acel centru era Marilyn. ”

Iubirea romantica se dezvolta apoi intr-un tipar caracteristic, incepand cu „gandirea intruziva”. site-ri matrimoniale hawkins-web.com Gandurile „obiectului de dragoste” incep sa va invadeze mintea. Un lucru cert a spus ca suna la urechea ta; o vezi zambind, reamintesti un comentariu, un moment special, un inuendo – si il savureaza. Te intrebi ce parere ar fi iubitul tau despre cartea pe care o citesti, filmul pe care tocmai l-ai vazut sau problema cu care te confrunti la birou. Si fiecare segment minuscul al timpului pe care l-am petrecut pe voi doi capata greutate si devine material pentru revizuire.

Nu voi uita niciodata momentul in care am vazut prima data rezultatele. Am simtit ca sarit pe cer.

La inceput aceste reverii intruzive pot aparea neregulamentar. Dar multi au spus ca, pe masura ce obsesia a crescut, au petrecut de la 85 pana la aproape 100 la suta din zilele si noptile lor intr-o atentie mentala sustinuta, aruncand acest individ. Intr-adevar, impreuna cu aceasta fixare, iubitorii isi pierd o anumita capacitate de a se concentra asupra altor lucruri, cum ar fi sarcinile zilnice, munca si scoala; devin usor distrasi. matrimoniale venera ronsusedtiresva.com Mai mult decat atat, incep sa se concentreze asupra celor mai banale aspecte ale celui adorat si agrandizeaza aceste trasaturi intr-un proces numit cristalizare. Cristalizarea se deosebeste de idealizarea prin faptul ca persoana infatuata percepe intr-adevar punctele slabe ale idolului sau. De fapt, majoritatea participantilor lui Tennov ar putea enumera defectele iubitei lor. Dar pur si simplu au aruncat aceste defecte deoparte sau s-au convins ca aceste defecte sunt unice si fermecatoare.

Elementul primordial in informarile infatuate ale lui Tennov au fost trei senzatii imperative: pofta, speranta si incertitudinea. Daca persoana pretuita ar da cel mai mic raspuns pozitiv, partenerul indraznet va reda aceste fragmente pretioase in reverie zile intregi. Daca el sau ea a refuzat rabdarile cuiva, incertitudinea s-ar putea transforma in disperare si lipsa de lista (cunoscuta sub numele de anhedonie). Iubitorul ar fi plans, facandu-se pana cand el sau ea reusisera sa explice acest regres si sa reinnoiasca misiunea. Incendiile cheie sunt adversitatea si barierele sociale; acestea intensifica pasiunea si pofta romantica – un fenomen pe care l-am botezat „atractie frustrare”. vand cumpar arad matrimoniale contacte www.all-that-jazzbrand.biz

Si la baza tuturor acestei angoase si extazuri este frica nemaritata. Un sofer de camion in varsta de 28 de ani a rezumat ceea ce simteau cei mai multi informatori: „As fi sarit din capul meu”, a spus el. „Era ca si cum ai putea numi spaima de scena, ca si cum ai urca in fata unui public. Mana imi tremura cand suna soneria. Cand am sunat-o la telefon am simtit ca pot auzi pulsul din templul meu mai tare decat sunand telefonul. ”

Energia intensa (hipomania) este o alta trasatura centrala a iubirii romantice. Iubitorii de bataie raporteaza tremur, paloare, inrosire, o slabiciune generala, senzatii coplesitoare de incomoditate si balbaiala, precum si una sau mai multe reactii simpatice ale sistemului nervos, inclusiv transpiratie, fluturi in stomac, inima care bate si dificultati in mancare sau somn. Unii chiar simt o pierdere a celor mai de baza facultati si abilitati.

Stendhal, romancierul francez din secolul al XIX-lea, a descris perfect acest sentiment. matrimoniale rep.moldova www.testaenewsservice.com Amintind dupa-amiezile, mergea plimbandu-se alaturi de dragul sau, el scria: „Ori de cate ori imi dadeam bratul lui Leonore, am simtit intotdeauna ca urma sa cad si trebuie sa ma gandesc cum sa merg.” Timiditatea, anticiparea, frica de respingere, dorul de reciprocitate si motivatia intensa pentru a castiga aceasta persoana speciala sunt alte senzatii centrale ale pasiunii romantice. Iubitorii pot deveni, de asemenea, usor gelosi.



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Unii ajung chiar si la extreme pentru a proteja parteneriatul de inmultire, cunoscut de comportamentalistii de animale sub numele de „paza de matca”.

Mai presus de toate, participantii lui Tennov si-au exprimat sentimentul de neputinta, sentimentul ca aceasta obsesie era irationala, involuntara, neplanificata, necontrolata. In timp ce un director de afaceri, la inceputul anilor 50, a scris despre o zdrobire de birou, „avansez catre teza ca aceasta atractie pentru Emily este un fel de actiune biologica, de tip instinct, care nu se afla sub control voluntar sau logic. … matrimoniale dev madlips.com Ma directioneaza. Incerc cu disperare sa ma cert cu ea, sa-i limitez influenta, sa o canalizez (spre sex, de exemplu), sa o refuz, sa o savureze si, da, naiba, sa o fac sa raspunda! Chiar daca stiu ca Emily si cu mine nu avem absolut nicio sansa sa ne ducem viata impreuna, gandul la ea este o obsesie.

Se pare ca dragostea romantica este o panoplie de emotii intense, acoperite de la un nivel inalt pana la cel mic, legata de pendulul unei singure fiinte ale carei capricii va comanda in detrimentul a tot ceea ce va inconjoara – inclusiv munca, familia si prietenii. Iar acest mozaic involuntar de ganduri, sentimente si motivatii este doar partial legat de sex. Iubitele infatuate ale lui Tennov tanjeau sa faca sex cu iubita lor. Dar pofta lor a fost umbrita de o pofta mult mai profunda. Si-au dorit ca iubitul lor sa-i sune, sa scrie, sa-i invite si, mai ales, sa-si reciproce pasiunea. Pentru barbati si femei infatuate, uniunea emotionala tranteste dorinta sexuala. De fapt, 95 la suta dintre informatoarele Tennov si 91 la suta dintre subiectii ei barbati au respins afirmatia „Cel mai bun lucru despre dragoste este sexul”. matrimoniale fete grase www.caliberimports.com

Mai mult, aceste sentimente pot izbucni la orice varsta. Am descoperit acest lucru cand mi-am proiectat propriul chestionar despre dragostea romantica si am colectat date despre 437 de americani si 402 de japonezi. Persoanele de peste 45 de ani si cei sub 25 de ani nu au aratat diferente statistice semnificative la 82% dintre intrebari. In general, sentimentele intense de dragoste romantica apar mai intai in jurul pubertatii. Dar chiar si copiii mici pot experimenta o iubire „zdrobitoare” sau catelusa.

Cea mai tanara persoana lovita de dragoste pe care am intalnit-o vreodata a fost un baiat de 2 ani si jumatate. De fiecare data cand o fetita anume venea la el acasa pentru o intalnire, el se aseza langa ea si ii mangaia parul; dupa ce ea a plecat, el a devenit deprimat aproximativ doua ore. Era speciala; era obsedat.

LOVE HURTS: O ilustrare din romanul lui Stendhal Le Rouge et le Noir , care prezinta un triunghi de dragoste setat in timpul Revolutiei franceze din 1830. matrimoniale uricani airjunk.com Protagonistul sau, Julien Sorel, este ghilotinat.Culture Club

In 1996, m-am angajat intr-un proiect pentru a stabili ce se intampla in creier atunci cand te indragostesti profund, nebun de indragostit. Mai intai am planificat experimentul. As colecta date despre activitatea creierului (folosind imagistica prin rezonanta magnetica functionala sau RMN), in timp ce participantii care loveau de dragoste au indeplinit doua sarcini separate: privirea unei fotografii a iubitului lor si privirea unei fotografii a cuiva care nu a generat sentimente pozitive sau negative in lor. Intre observarea fotografiilor pozitive si neutre, acestea ar indeplini o sarcina de distragere. In acest caz, as arunca un numar mare pe ecran (cum ar fi 6.137) si as ruga participantii sa numere mental inapoi de la acest numar in pasi de sapte. Acest lucru, am sperat, va curata creierul de emotii puternice intre expunerea la iubit si expunerea la stimul neutru.

My hypothesis? Foremost, I suspected I would find elevated activity in the brain’s networks for dopamine, a natural stimulant—because this brain system generates energy, euphoria, craving, focus, and motivation, some of the core traits of romantic love. paturi matrimoniale 160×200 gdels.info I also posited that the closely related neurochemical norepinephrine might contribute to this madness, because this neurotransmitter produces focus and motivation too, as well as some of the bodily responses of romantic love such as butterflies in the stomach, wobbly knees, and a dry mouth. And I thought low activity in the serotonin system might create the intrusive, obsessive thinking of romantic passion. Last, I expected that many other neurochemical systems might be involved—together producing the range of emotions, motivations, cognitions, and behaviors common to romantic love. But my bets were on dopamine.



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These discarded lovers are still madly in love with and deeply attached to their rejecting partner. They are in physical and mental pain.

Then, with Brown, psychologist Art Aron, and others, I put 17 new lovers into the brain scanner: 10 women and seven men who had been madly and happily in love for an average of 7.4 months. I will never forget the moment I first saw the results. matrimoniale bucresti www.joserodriguez.com I was standing in a darkened lab at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. I felt like jumping in the sky. Before my eyes were scans showing blobs of activity in the ventral tegmental area, or VTA, a tiny factory near the base of the brain that makes dopamine and sends this natural stimulant to many brain regions. We found activity in many other brain regions, but the VTA was particularly important. This factory is part of the brain’s reward system, the brain network that generates wanting, seeking, craving, energy, focus, and motivation. No wonder lovers can stay awake all night talking and caressing. No wonder they become so absent-minded, so giddy, so optimistic, so gregarious, so full of life. They are high on natural “speed.” And men feel this passion just as powerfully as women. anunturi matrimoniale gratuite uk aburhani.com Tennov wrote of her more than 800 informants that men and women experienced this intense passion “in roughly equal proportions.” My colleagues and I have now confirmed this. In our fMRI study of young happy lovers, men showed just as much activity in the VTA and other neural pathways for romantic passion as women did. Moreover, when my colleagues re-did this brain scanning experiment in China, their Chinese participants showed just as much activity in the VTA and other dopamine pathways—the neurochemical pathways for wanting. Almost everyone on earth feels this passion.

In fact, because the VTA lies near primitive brain regions associated with thirst and hunger, I came to realize that romantic love is a basic human drive. My brain-scanning partner Brown has added to this perspective, saying that romantic love is a survival mechanism as crucial as the craving for water. This drive, this survival mechanism, is also an addiction.

Moreover, we are not the only creatures that have inherited the chemistry of love. matrimoniale sibiu femeie caut barbat www.talk4freeplug.com When a female prairie vole begins to express attraction to a male vole, she experiences a 50 percent increase of dopamine activity in parts of this reward system. An increase of dopamine in the brain is also associated with mate attraction in female sheep. Hence, this neural mechanism for attraction must have evolved in many species of birds and mammals—to enable individuals to prefer and focus on specific mating partners, thereby conserving valuable courtship time and energy. In most species, however, this attraction is brief, lasting only minutes, hours, days, or weeks. In humans, intense, early-stage romantic love can last much longer.

There is always variation in this experience, however. Baseline activities of dopamine (as well as norepinephrine and serotonin) vary from one person to the next—potentially altering one’s proclivity to fall in love and stay in love. But other brain systems can also affect romance. For example, some of those who report they have never felt romantic love suffer from hypopituitarism, a rare disease in which the pituitary malfunctions, causing hormonal problems and “love blindness. publi24 calarasi matrimoniale www.sexreaction.com ” These men and women lead normal lives; some marry for companionship; but that rapture, that heartache, is mythology to them. Moreover, schizophrenia, Parkinson’s disease, and other ailments alter dopamine pathways.

Like any addiction, romantic love can cause havoc in our lives—particularly when we’ve been dumped.

To learn more about the neural systems associated with rejection in love, my colleagues and I used fMRI to study 10 women and five men who had recently been dumped. The average length of time since the initial rejection was 63 days.



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All participants scored high on the Passionate Love Scale, a self-report questionnaire that measures the intensity of romantic feelings. All said that they spent more than 85 percent of their waking hours thinking of the person who rejected them. And all yearned for their abandoning partner to return.

The results were stunning. matrimoniale la bucuresti www.internetsphere.net Brain activations occurred in several regions of the reward system. Included were regions of the VTA associated with feelings of intense romantic love; the ventral pallidum, associated with feelings of deep attachment; the insular cortex and the anterior cingulate, associated with physical pain, anxiety, and the distress associated with physical pain; and the nucleus accumbens and orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex, brain regions associated with assessing one’s gains and losses—as well as craving and addiction.

Most relevant to our story, activity in several of these brain regions has been correlated with the craving of cocaine addicts and other drugs. In short, as our brain scanning data show, these discarded lovers are still madly in love with and deeply attached to their rejecting partner. They are in physical and mental pain. Like a mouse on a treadmill, they are obsessively ruminating on what they’ve lost. And they are craving reunion with their rejecting beloved—addiction.

Few of us get out of love alive. In one American college community, 93 percent of both sexes reported that they had been spurned by someone they passionately loved, while 95 percent reported that they had rejected someone who was deeply in love with them. matrimoniale urlati femei www.studnz.co.nz And this can be just the first disappointment. Many may get dumped again in later life.

There is a pattern to this trajectory of abandonment and recovery. During the first stage, the protest phase, the deserted lover works obsessively to regain the abandoning partner’s affection. As resignation/despair sets in, the lover gives up hope and slips into depression. Both are linked with the dopamine system in the brain. And I suspect that both were deeply embedded in the hominin mind by the time Lucy was loving, perhaps even losing a beloved, long ago.

“The less my hope there is, the more I love her.” Over 2,000 years ago, Terence, the Roman poet, perfectly captured this experience. matrimoniale conatanta ieb.academyartfaculty.info When lovers encounter barriers to their romantic feelings, their passion intensifies—what I call frustration-attraction. Adversity heightens feelings of romantic love. This phenomenon is rooted in the brain. When a reward is delayed in coming, neurons of the brain’s dopamine system continue their activity—sustaining one’s feelings of intense romantic love. Addiction has set in.

Even when romantic love isn’t harmful, it is associated with intense craving and anxiety.

Stress elevates this dopamine response. When mammals first experience severe stress, among their bodily reactions is an increase in the activity of central dopamine and norepinephrine and a suppression of central serotonin, known as the “stress response.” Rejected lovers can also suffer from frustration-aggression, what psychologists call “abandonment rage. www matrimoniale femei cauta barbati rad-care.info ” Even when a rejecting partner departs with compassion and graciously honors his or her responsibilities as a friend or co-parent, many abandoned people oscillate between heartbreak and fury—another response with neural correlates.

The primary rage system is closely connected to centers in the prefrontal cortex that anticipate rewards. So as a person begins to realize that an expected reward is in jeopardy, even unattainable, these regions of the prefrontal cortex stimulate the amygdala and trigger rage, a trait that stresses the heart, raises blood pressure, and suppresses the immune system. This rage response to unfulfilled expectations is well known in other mammals. When a cat is petted, for example, it purrs. When this pleasurable stimulation is withdrawn, it sometimes bites.



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Indeed, romantic passion and abandonment rage have much in common. Both are associated with bodily and mental arousal; both produce obsessive thinking, focused attention, motivation, and goal-directed behaviors; and both cause intense yearning—either for union with or retaliation against the rejecting lover. Moreover, these feelings of romantic love and rage can act in tandem. matrimoniale beius bihor eileenfisher.de In a study of 124 dating couples, Bruce Ellis and Neil Malamuth reported that romantic love and “anger/upset” react to different kinds of information. The lover’s level of anger/upset oscillates in response to events that undermine the lover’s goals, such as a mate’s infidelity, lack of emotional commitment, or rejection. The lover’s feelings of romantic love fluctuate in response to events that advance the lover’s goals, such as a partner’s visible social support during outings with relatives and friends, or a direct declaration of love and fidelity.

Thus, romantic love and anger/upset can operate concurrently, adding intensity to one’s rejection addiction. We must have inherited this protest response, for it stems from a basic mammalian mechanism that gets triggered when any kind of social attachment is ruptured.

Take the puppy. When it is removed from mother and put into the kitchen by itself, it immediately begins to pace, frantically leaping at the door, barking and whining in protest. Isolated baby rats emit ceaseless ultrasonic cries; they hardly sleep because their brain arousal is so intense. The purpose of this protest: to increase alertness and stimulate an abandoned creature to object, search, and call for help. matrimoniale targoviste 2018 iyazoo.mobi Protest, the stress response, frustration-attraction, abandonment rage, craving, withdrawal symptoms: All play a role in the worldwide incidence of crimes of passion.

Like all addictions, romantic love can lead to violence. Eventually, however, the abandoned lover gives up. He or she stops the pursuit of the beloved, ushering in the second general phase of romantic rejection, resignation/despair. During this stage, the rejected one slips into feelings of lethargy, despondency, melancholy, and depression, known as the despair response. In a study of 114 men and women who had been rejected by a partner within the past eight weeks, 40 percent experienced clinically measurable depression. Some broken-hearted lovers even die from heart attacks or strokes caused by their depression. Others commit suicide.

Surely most rejected lovers feel this sadness during the protest phase as well, but it’s likely to escalate as all hope vanishes. publi24 ro anunturi matrimoniale escorte cluj www.surveyalaska.com This despair has been associated with several brain networks. Yet, once again, dopamine circuits are most likely involved. As the rejected partner comes to believe that the reward will never come, dopamine-producing cells in the reward system of the brain decrease their activity, producing lethargy, despondency, and depression. Short-term stress escalates the production of dopamine and norepinephrine. Long-term stress suppresses the activity of these neurochemicals, producing depression instead.

Many professionals define addiction as a pathological, problematic disorder. And because romantic love is a positive experience under many circumstances (i.e. not harmful), researchers remain largely unwilling to officially categorize romantic love as an addiction. matrimoniale 60 lei milestoneexec.com But love addiction is just as real as any other addiction, in terms of its behavior patterns and brain mechanisms. Even when romantic love isn’t harmful, it is associated with intense craving and anxiety and can impel the lover to believe, say, and do dangerous and inappropriate things. Moreover, all forms of substance abuse, including alcohol, opioids, cocaine, amphetamines, cannabis, and tobacco (as well as the non-substance addictions to food, gambling, and sex) activate several of the same reward pathways that are activated among men and women who are happily in love, as well as those rejected in love.

Unlike all other addictions, however, which afflict only a percentage of the population, some form of love addiction is likely to occur to almost every human being at some point during the life course. Modern data suggest that romantic love should be treated as an addiction, regardless of its lack of official diagnostic classification as an addiction.

The human animal seems driven by a tide of feelings that ebb and flow to an internal beat, a rhythm that emerged when our ancestors first descended from the trees of Africa and developed a tempo to their relationships that was in synchrony with their natural breeding cycle—three to four years. Perhaps the brain’s systems for dopamine, vasopressin, oxytocin, and other neurochemicals orchestrate this rhythm, escalating when you fall in love, changing as you begin to feel deep attachment and cosmic union, then eventually becoming desensitized or overloaded, leading to indifference or restlessness that slowly eats your love and leads to separation—a hardship that can trigger the mother of all addictions, addiction to a mate.

Dr. Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist and senior research fellow at The Kinsey Institute. anunturi matrimoniale publi 24 bucuresti www.santafedining.net She has written five internationally best-selling books on love and personality and is currently Chief Scientific Advisor to Match.com.

Excerpted from the book Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray © 2016 by Helen Fisher, published by W.W. Norton on Feb. 1, 2016.