Break-Ups: Indepartarea miturilor fericirii din totdeauna

Se ocupa de pauze







Daca ai citit povestea mea, atunci stii ca despartirile si, intr-adevar, dezbinarile foarte chinuitoare au facut parte din viata mea. De fapt, nu unul, ci doi. M-as fi putut opri usor doar cu unul. Bine, gluma proasta .. night.jp . dar, intr-adevar, cand m-am gasit pentru a doua oara, tinandu-ma de bucatile distruse ale inimii mele si urmarind pe persoana pe care o iubeam iesind din viata mea, am simtit ca as fi avut tot ce as putea lua.

A doua destramare, care s-a intamplat la aproximativ 6 luni de la prima, a fost o situatie in care m-am apucat – urmarind dupa propriile dorinte, nu indreptand voci de sfat in viata mea si refuzand practic sa vorbesc cu Dumnezeu. despre asta inainte de a sari. Am fost o fata la recul si, dupa cum gasesc cei mai multi recuperari, aceasta are ca rezultat doar mai multe pauze de inima. artloveguide7.timeforchangecounselling.com Pot sa scriu atat de repede de ce nu am fost intr-o relatie in care Dumnezeu m-a dorit (tipul a fost un tip grozav, pur si simplu nu este tipul grozav pentru mine), dar mi-a luat mult timp sa ajung sa realizez acele lucruri . Dar, la vremea aceea, mi s-a rupt inima de a pierde pe cineva pe care l-am iubit se compila pierzand doi.

In noaptea de dupa cea de-a doua poveste a mea, m-am simtit atat de singur. Stiam ca exista oameni ca mine, care aveau inimi frante in loc sa fie fericiti vreodata; fete care sunt cavalere in armuri stralucitoare au pornit in apusul soarelui fara ele; femeile care s-au simtit atat de devastate cand toate idealurile lor bine intelese au fost brusc dovedite false. Dar unde erau? Si acum cand eram singuri in suferinta noastra – CE FACEM CU UN INIM INTARZIT? In noaptea aceea, am inceput sa-mi scriu inima, intrebarile, necazurile mele pe ecranul reconfortant al laptopului meu preistoric, documentand in detaliu calatoria mea spre vindecare – o vindecare care, la vremea respectiva, credeam sincer ca nu va ajunge niciodata la o inima la fel de rupta. eduardoqgqb.bloggersdelight.dk in sus si murdara ca a mea.

Ati citit vreodata vreuna dintre acele carti scrise de oameni casatoriti fericit povestind despre cum s-au reunit? Ei trec prin aceasta minunata poveste de dragoste, poate cu un pic de greutati si incercari, dar, in final, se casatoresc, luna de miere si traiesc fericiti pana acum.

Undeva in ultimul deceniu sau mai mult, idealul de „curte” a decolat si s-a ridicat pana la mari culmi. Deodata, revistele si cartile au inceput sa loveasca in spatiile de vanzare din magazinele de carti crestine, pline de povestile dulci despre dragostea celor doi oameni si cum le-a reunit Dumnezeu. Povestile merg de obicei asa:

Jill era o fata tanara dulce, care il iubea cu adevarat pe Domnul si se straduia sa-L urmeze din toata inima. northstarshoes.com Ea a fost vanduta pentru a astepta omul potrivit pe care Dumnezeu i-a facut-o toata viata. Jill visa sa se casatoreasca si sa creasca o familie pentru a-l onora pe Domnul. Dar stia ca vrea ca Dumnezeu sa-l aduca pe sotul ei. Si ca ar merita sa astepti.







Jack era un tanar evlavios, care, de asemenea, il iubea cu adevarat pe Domnul si se straduia sa-L urmeze toata viata. biglifenow2.almoheet-travel.com Stia ca vrea sa se casatoreasca cu o femeie cu aceleasi idealuri si viziuni ca si el. Dar, in timp ce priveste fetele eligibile din jurul sau, a vazut munca tragica pe care a facut-o Dusmanul si nu a vazut absolut nicio femeie care sa se incadreze la standardele Proverbelor 31 de femei.

In povesti, cursul cativa ani trece doar in spatiul unei propozitii sau al unui paragraf scurt. Apoi, dintr-o zi, Jack si Jill se intalnesc. Sunt atrasi imediat de Domnul unul in celalalt si, in timp, incep sa dezvolte o prietenie. www.bausch.in Dupa ce devin cei mai buni prieteni, Jack incepe sa se roage cu seriozitate daca Dumnezeu il va urmari pe Jill. Dupa cateva rugaciuni care se ocupa doar de o propozitie in valoare de timp, Jack il roaga pe Jill sa poata incepe curtarea / intalnirea ei (indiferent de modul in care preferi sa o spui) si Jill este coplesit si smerit ca Dumnezeu ar aduce un tanar evlavios in viata ei. Sunt de curte dureaza cateva luni, unde traiesc o asemenea dulce intimitate si legatura evlavioasa. Ei se logodesc si walah! S-au casatorit. Si amandoi spun la final „A meritat sa astepti!”

This is a happy story. sociallovenews5.jigsy.com It makes my heart sing and my face smile. It makes me get excited about one day getting to have a similar story. I get all hyped up about the story God is planning for me and the waiting seems like a small sacrifice to pay for such a “happily ever after” story.

But wait. And just think about it. jaspermsuc636.jigsy.com How many people can really say they’ve had a story like that? I KNOW there are people out there who can share of a story like this. But maybe not as many as we think. That isn’t my story.

All my life, I believed that the first man I ever was in a relationship with would be my husband. The first man who ever said “I love you” would say it to me for the rest of my life. www.openlearning.com In all the books and articles I had read about relationships (and I was an avid studier of the topic!), this was how it was always supposed to be, if you were a God-fearing follower of God, and ESPECIALLY if you embraced the “courtship” path – I do not say this to mock, not at all). And according to all the “steps” to a good relationship, my relationship should have turned out that way. But it didn’t. And when I was left grasping the pieces of a broken heart, I didn’t know where in the world to turn, who to talk to, where to go for help.

Whoa. greeninfopoint2.mystrikingly.com You don’t see stories like THAT in the books and magazines! But in reality, stories like that are a lot more numerous than the happy ones. It seems like for every marriage, there are half a dozen broken hearts. Broken hearts within godly, Christ-centered people. I know so many of them. Where does that fit into the pages of the books written on waiting for love story God has prepared for you? We never hear of those stories. arthurqqeh081.bearsfanteamshop.com We only read the stories written by people who are happily married and SAFE from the drama and trauma of pre-marriage. Those stories are encouraging, but they only go so far. What about me? What about all of us who have been through break-ups?

If you’ve ever experienced a “failed” relationship, we’re in this together. Break ups happen. Gasp! Did I just say “break up?” In a lot of Christians circles where the happy courtship stories are so emphasized, break-ups are never mentioned and are somehow assumed to be a sign of some sin or “wrongness” hidden inside the person who experienced a break up. sites.simbla.com

There’s this ideal out there that says “wait for God, and He’ll bring you the right person on the

first try

.” Don’t get me wrong! God does bring people together right from the start and they have a God story to share with the rest of the world. And I LOVE stories like this! But in reality, it doesn’t always happen that way. I know a lot of people who have had false starts. I know a lot of people who have had to break up with the person they loved the most or have that person break up with them. www.tripline.net I know of people, like myself, where God seemed to give an emphatic YES to the relationship, but then later on down the road, there was a NO to the relationship. Sometimes the break up is nasty and ugly and over something that was legitimate grounds for breaking up. But sometimes things just happen. Face it. Break-ups are a part of life. canvas.instructure.com Break-ups happen.

I can’t pretend to understand all of this. I just know that there are a lot of “sadly ever afters” out there, with a lot of hurting hearts trailing behind. I’m not proud of falling into this category, I would do anything to not have breaks behind me. It’s hard for me knowing that I will never be able to have that fairy-tale first-romance marriage. laneakzy749.jigsy.com But just because break-ups don’t mesh with the ideals of found in our “conservative” Christian circles, that doesn’t mean that we are failures or that we’ve disobeyed God, or that we are less of a person because we didn’t have that God-story we’ve always wanted and everyone talks about.

The fact is, there are love stories that end sour. And they hurt. They gouge out wounds in our hearts and minds that are so severe sometimes time doesn’t even heal them. Nobody wants to hear the break up stories, but frankly, they happen, they hurt, and they need healing. biglifenow2.almoheet-travel.com And when the only sympathy we find in our Christian literature is books and articles on “How My Love Story Was Perfect”, to those of us who have NOT had that story, it’s salt on a deep wound and sometimes a sense of shame on an already weary and broken heart.

Breakups are not ideal. But they happen to a lot of people. A lot more people than you think, because nobody wants to tell about the relationship that got away. Help and healing needs to be out there for the needy and hurting, and the happily ever after stories don’t cut it. goloveclub6.mystrikingly.com They didn’t for me when I need help so badly.

I don’t have all the answers. But I know that us breakup-ees have a place in God’s eyes and that even tho our break ups don’t fit into the dream we’ve had all our lives, somehow it fits into God’s plan. There is something God has for us in this, and we need to find it.

Something that God has given me in the aftermath of break-ups and now as I’ve experienced healing (although I will always vividly remember the pain), is that I have such a passion and burden for girls and women who have gone through break-ups. bibliocrunch.com All you have to say is “break-up” and my heart instantly goes out to you like a rocket at first launch. There’s an instant bond and “connect” that I feel. I want to make a stab at taking what I’ve learned and reaching out to those girls and women who have endured break-ups and are now left holding the shattered pieces of their broken hearts. I’m not someone who is happily married or who has never experienced a break-up – I am still single and I have been through two break-ups. I speak as someone who really knows. daltonclvw586.weebly.com

Maybe these posts are a rough-draft of a book someday, maybe it’s me organizing my thoughts so I can have them ready to share at the right moments to the right person, maybe you reading this knows this pain right now or you know someone who does. Either way, my passion is to reach out to “those who are of a broken heart.”

In the tidal-waves of the emotions and trauma, it’s hard to think straight. It’s almost impossible to know where to go next.  I want you to know that it’s okay. gumroad.com I want you to know that you’re not feeling this alone. In following posts over the next few weeks, I want to share just the simple things that I’ve learned and am learning in retrospect. I hope that somehow God will use it to encourage you and help you through. Even tho you don’t feel right now that healing is possible, we have a God. We have our Jehovah Rapha, the God of Healing. And He’s all ours.